People Missing a Sense of Self One of the odder features of life is that, without there being too many significant outward signs of the problem, many people are to be found wandering the earth lacking any sense of self.
By this, we mean that they are radically unsure of who they might be, what they might want, and who they should trust.
These unfortunates have no settled core.
In the background, they are always quietly asking themselves not 'What do I like?', but 'What am I supposed to like?' Not 'what do I approve of?' but 'what is it good to approve of?' Not 'what do I find funny?' but 'when should I laugh?' When we watch them carefully, we may notice rapid, almost arbitrary shifts in their views: they love this artist or jacket or political opinion… but in fact, no, they prefer another one, and then another.
They are implicitly constantly calling out to a world which puzzles and terrifies them: Who should I be? What is it right to think?
These poor souls tend to be the products of very particular sorts of childhood.
When little, they will have faced environments in which their uniqueness was never a matter of concern to their self-absorbed caregivers.
Mother or father were never able to push their needs aside for a time, drop to their level and ask: Who is this extraordinary new member of the human race whom I have helped to create?
What are their particular inclinations and loves and hates?
What do they have to tell me?
