It's one of the puzzles of relationships that after a hugely promising few months or years, one of the members of a couple may start to exhibit notably aggressive and unyielding behavior.
Out go their previous tenderness and loveliness, and in come roughness and neglect.
All they seem to want to do is to go out alone with their friends or flirt with strangers.
One might wonder if it's the other person in the couple who might somehow be to blame for this, perhaps they've done something wrong, and they're being, in certain ways, appropriately punished for not living up to expectations that they set.
But the truth may be a great deal more circuitous and complex.
In certain cases, the partner is, in fact, being punished, but not for doing anything wrong.
If we can put it this way, they're being punished precisely for doing things rather right.
They're being punished for not abandoning their lover, for not being cross, for not being mean, for not looking elsewhere, for not shouting, for not bullying, and for not humiliating.
They're being punished for their sweetness, crushed for their gentleness, and tormented for their faith.
Why on earth might kindly behaviors prove problematic?
