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Hi, everyone and welcome back to Happy Hour. 欢迎回来酒馆. Hi, 安澜,

Hi, Lulu, hi, everyone.

It's almost like you're on one of those hamster wheels. Isn't it? It's um… think about all the workers, you know in China, they jokingly call themselves 牛马.

Yeah.

But in English you have corporate slaves.

Well, yeah.

The classic burnt-out professional. They're in the office from early in the morning till late at night, all week. Their time, energy, life are controlled by their job. What do they do on their day off, on their precious day off? they shop.

Well yeah, precisely. Or in situations when you feel like, okay, I want to be happier or you haven't got that hit of endorphins or serotonin, I always think about Christmas Day.

So lots of people look forward to Christmas Day. You know it's a big festival. You're going to have lots to eat, lots of drink, you're going to get presents. But I always find that it never really matches the hype. So what do people do on Christmas Day? They start shopping.

Yeah. I think because it's such a global phenomenon that people obviously feel that, and there's been a lot of counter consumerism movement, because people realize that dopamine hit is not going to last, and it's probably just going to get into real trouble, not just financial trouble, but also mental health related, you can slip into depression.

Yeah. So, there is the voluntary simplicity movement. So people are actively choosing to reduce their consumption to focus on non material sources of fulfillment. Relationships, experience.

You know how online influencers always get you to buy stuff?

Yeah.

There is something call the deinfluencer trend这种 “反网红”的一个潮流. It's the exact opposite of the traditional influencer, instead of telling you to buy things, deinfluencers(劝退博主） encourage you to be careful with consumption. They're trying to promote simplified lifestyles and sustainability.

Well, yeah. I think about the whole movement about early retirement.

Mhm.

So people that are saving money really, really strictly.

Mhm.

And I mean like literally they're just saving as much money as they can, because they want to retire before the age of 40. This is the same sort of idea really. So it's the shift from, okay, I want to use the money in order to purchase freedom rather than products.

So what you're saying is true freedom often requires less material attachment, not more.

Well yeah, think about it. The more things you own, the more things you need to maintain, store, ensure, worry about; the more expensive your lifestyle, the more money you need to earn, and the more money you need to earn, the more of your time and freedom you give away.

That is actually true. So material possessions, they're not something...at certain point, there are no longer things that you can show off and flaunt and flex. They become some sort of shackles, really, shackles that hold you back.

Well, exactly. And some people describe this as the over consumption trap, because you're working harder to afford things that require more work to maintain, the cycle never ends.

How clever! They really set up this entire trap to keep us in.

Well, yeah. I like to think about owning a house, for example. Yeah, it’s great to own a house. But you’re responsible for its upkeep, you’re responsible for ensuring it, you’re responsible for any problems with it. It’s trying to keep this essentially product in as good condition as possible.

Same can be said about cars. Even more so with cars, because at least houses have a possibility of appreciating in value, but cars are definitely depreciating in value.

Well, I always think about an example, a friend of mine, he saved ages to buy this really beautiful car, and the car is like quite old, it’s a vintage car, beautiful! And he kept thinking, okay, I'm gonna drive around, I'm gonna really enjoy this car. He bought the car. Do you know what he did?

Kept it in the garage.

Because he was so worried about ruining the car. He was so worried about anything bad happening to it, but he just kept it in the garage.

I've heard this story over and over again. If it's not car, it’s something else. It's like jewelry, it's a good watch...

So the thing that you craved for, the thing thought could give you a sense of freedom and autonomy ends up being the shackle that holds you back.

Yeah, Exactly.

Whoa, we're getting into very philosophical zone now, yet but I think we need a kind of shift towards how do we break the cycle? Really.

Well, exactly. I would say option number one is reclaim small acts of control.

That's easier said than done, as in some people resort to shopping because they cannot feel control.

Yeah, but the thing is that the time they use into shop can also be used to feel in charge, so for example, even 15 minutes, and how many people, including ourselves, shop for 15 minutes a day or if not more.

So, 15 minutes a day you do exactly what you want. No obligations, no demand. That's a little tiny rebellion against the schedule.

Oh, so you're saying 15 minutes do whatever. Not just shopping.

Yeah! Exactly.

Like a tiny act of rebellion.

Yeah, option number two, separate need from want.

So before you buy, slow and pause, ask yourself, do I actually need this? Or am I just stressed?

Do you know what? Recently I've heard a friend saying that, this is not really shopping in that sense. There's an APP. It's like a fake takeout delivery APP. You can order take away food, you can go through like all your usual choices, you can place the order, you can fake paying the bill. But you don't actually pay for it and it never actually comes.

So one of those, it feeds into your psychological hang-ups and addiction.

Yeah, exactly.

So, delay in purchase for example can break the dopamine loop. The anticipation of reward triggers dopamine, but the actual purchase is often disappointing. Wait it out. The feeling might be a temporary craving, not a real need.

Some of our audience in the live stream once said to me that they would just place the order in the evening, and cancel it in the morning before it even gets dispatched.

What I try to do is if I'm shopping on 淘宝 or any of the apps, then I leave it in my cart for 24 hours, unless it sounds like groceries and things like that, which I actually do need and I know I need.

But anything else like clothes, wine, gadgets, I leave in my shopping cart for 24 hours.

That doesn't work for me, because I have like over 200 things in my cart, right at the moment. I eventually, I'm going to have a weak moment and purchase all of them.

Well, funny to say that I went on my Amazon account for the first time in ages, and lo and behold, I found things I put in there in 2016!

Whoa! 10 years ago!

10 years ago.

Did you delete them?

I deleted them even though they obviously came down in price a lot.

Hahaha. Yeah. But there are other ways, but we digress.

There are obviously other ways to fix the problem like spending on experiences, not things, for example, spending on time with your friends, with your family, classes.

Yeah! So, for example, a travel experience doesn't clutter your home. It just gives you a very pleasant memory.

However, that is also very costly.

Well, exactly. And I’ll be honest with you. I would happily spend all of my money on traveling.

Yeah.

Which in itself is probably not completely great idea. I do have to work.

No, I don't think that is the greatest alternative to spending things on materialistic goods.

Yeah.

But I think perhaps the better alternative would be built internal freedom. I know this is easier said than done, but through reading and exercise, I do feel like when I read actual books, the anxiety, all of the feeling of lacking control that sort of goes down.

Well yeah. I am always buying books. I love buying books, I got piles and piles of books all over the place.

And there's so many books I haven't read yet, and I actually kind of sometimes just take an evening, pour myself a glass of wine because I’ve now got loads of wine and read a book.

Yeah, so all I'm hearing is switch from buying gadgets to buying books. You're not actually fixing the problem 安澜.

Well, it makes me feel better.

Yeah. So instead of buying books, I think reading books is more important. Yeah?

Yes. Well, you gotta buy them to read them, I guess.

Not really, but okay.

Okay, so the next one is seek connection. So retail therapy is not usually just about the staff. It's often about the social experience of shopping with friends or family. When we're isolated, we buy things to feel connected, but real connection comes from time with people, not items.

That is very true. I think if you can have a wonderful night of food and talking with your friends, it sort of makes you forget that you just want to spend all of the time shopping online.

Well yeah, exactly!

But then again, of course there are many other ways of dealing with this issue.

Yeah.

So as we're wrapping up this episode, leave us a comment in the comments section. Let us know if you have ever resorted to retail therapy to calm your nerves, to give you that little bit of control. And what are your ways that can fix the problem?

But before you fix a problem, please remember we do have an online store as well.

You are the culprit!

Yes!

Yeah. But jokes aside, seriously, leave us a comment in a comment section and put in any request for any of the topics that you want us to talk about in the coming episodes.

So until next time.

We'll see you next time.

Bye!

Bye!

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文稿校对：鸣 & Jenny

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