It's that many of the struggles we had with our now ex-partners, though they ... struggles we had with our now ex-partners, though they appeared circular and fruitless at the time, are likely to be precisely what will help them to become, in the future, ideal partners for someone else.
It's the very difficulties we had, the arguments, blind spots, and stalemates that will prepare them for unions filled with insight, harmony, and serenity next time around.
Unbeknownst to us, we may, for a long time, have been in the business of helping someone else to be very happy.
There will typically be few signs of our unwittingly selfless groundwork.
The fraught closing stages of the relationship are unlikely to have seemed like an emotional finishing school or a forum for psychological maturation.
There might have been a succession of seemingly sterile fights when we question why they spent so much time obsessing about their brother or expecting their mother to rescue them.
There might have been a variety of tense conversations about certain of their friends or their approach to work.
We might have been accused of being mean or overly critical.
Perhaps there was a sulk that lasted 12 hours and a moment when they called us a blockhead, and we told them we wished we'd never met them, even though, or precisely because, we loved them so deeply.
We can be charitable towards these choppy moments.
