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Hi, everyone and welcome back to Happy Hour. 欢迎回来酒馆. Hi, 安澜.

Hi, Lulu, hi, everyone.

So the question really is, why now? Let's face it. 老登 have been around for, well since the beginning of time.

Since the beginning of 老登.

Yeah, exactly. So why now?

Well, great question. I think there are several reasons. First of all, there's the generational shift.

Yeah.

As like Gen Z and younger millennials to people born in after the millennium or in late 90s, they have grown up with very, very different values around authority.

Yeah.

Remember, I think once or twice, you mentioned about your niece being super woke and having a kind of really argumentative attitudes towards her elders.

Yeah.

Including you?

Including me. Yeah.

What's that about?

Well, I guess nowadays, this automatic respect for your elders, is not really true anymore, which to be perfectly honest, I think is actually a good thing because if you respect someone, they deserve respect.

Yeah, not just because you are a few years older than me.

Well, exactly. I would say there's a huge difference from being rude to elderly people or elder people than for example, just understanding their own limitations. The fact is that these are still adults. These are still people. And you have the right to disagree with them.

Yeah. It's like, I don't think being older, automatically, makes you wiser. That is the thing.

No.

We say older but wiser, which is not the case in a lot of people's situations.

I have met many older people who I can say, quite categorically they are not wiser.

Yeah, exactly. And I think the pushback against this whole 老登 thing is because a lot of these older people, they probably still think that they deserve to be treated in a way that they know the best, as if they know the best, but which is not the case anymore.

Yeah.But I guess also another reason is there's actually a word for it now.

Mhm.

Because this concept has always existed, I dare say someone on 抖音 or 小红书, they have suddenly used this word and then that's it. Everyone has his word that they can now use.

Exactly. It's the whole social media meme effect.

Yeah.

就是网络上出现一个梗之后就特别容易传播. And then you have this老登，登味儿.

Yeah.

People nowadays, men, even older middle-aged men use this as sort of like a self-deprecating humor.

Well, yeah.

Which is... I think it's fun.

Well, exactly. It reminders me a little bit of the idea of the "okay boomer moment". (年轻人用来怼 / 吐槽老辈子的万能梗：你说的我听到了，但我不认同，也不想跟你吵; Boomer指 Baby Boomers婴儿潮一代，大概是 1946–1964 年出生的人。)

So the idea that... it's like yeah, yeah, ok, boomer. It's like, I can talk back.

Yeah, it's like when a younger person is talking to a boomer.

Yeah.

Like an older person who's in their 60s, 70s and they're like "back in my day...", they lecture you for an hour. And you say, okay, okay, okay boomer.

Yeah. That's it.

It's kind of like passive aggression, exactly. 中文你知道叫什么吗?

I don't know.

叫 "啊对对对，啊对对对". It's like passive aggression. It's like I don't agree, but I'm gonna humor you, so the okay boomer movement.

But I would also say that this is probably the more real part, it's economic pressure.

Inflation, right?

Inflation. The fact that when your generation can't afford a house, when jobs were unstable, when your life script of your parents and everything that they believed in and followed just simply doesn't work anymore.

Yeah. I think this is probably more true as well. You know, if you compare, I think in China things are slightly different because people only started buying houses in the 90s.

Yeah.

But for you guys it probably, like for example your parents' generation, compare with your generation, it was much easier for them to buy.

Well, yeah. Exactly.

...than for people nowadays to buy.

And exactly. And the fact of the matter is in the UK when you get lectured by people in their 60 s or 70s that have had a stable job, who were able to buy a house very early, who were the main beneficiaries of the increase in the property market.

Yeah.

When they start lecturing you about kind of hard work and sacrifice, it's not wisdom, it's more than an insult.

Exactly. And it's almost like they attribute all of their wealth they've accumulated and the lifestyle they are able to enjoy solely to their own efforts and their own life decisions, which is just not true.

No. Exactly.

Okay. As we are coming to the end of this episode, this topic. Here is the uncomfortable part.

Okay.

We've spent this whole episode diagnosing other people. What about us? I know 登 is usually for men, but you can have the 登味儿 you can have the 登 vibes even if you're a woman.

So let's try to self-diagnose. Shall we?

Okay. I don't know where this is going. Let's do it. Let's do the 登 self-assessment test.

All right. Question Number One.

Okay.

Do you ever start sentences with "when I was your age?" or "let me give you some advice" without being asked?

I do say when I was your age, but that's usually because emmm...

You know better?

Well, Yeah. I do know better. And you know, that's my niece and you know, she, yeah, she is not that experienced. She's quite young.

What's her response?

I'm not gonna say her response on air. It's not very nice.

All right, but don't worry. That's low risk 登 energy.

Okay.Yeah.

But like if you're giving relationship advice, to someone whose relationship you've never actually observed, that is high risk 登energy.

Okay. All right. That I'm not 登.

Good, good. Question two, when someone disagrees with you, do you assume they are wrong because they're young and inexperienced, rather than engaging with their actual argument.

Oh, come on. You know the answer to that already.

I don't. Well, humor us.

Of course. You know, they're young and…

Inexperienced.

And inexperienced. Yeah, of course they are.

I have to admit in this, I probably would do a little bit as well. Oh, actually, that's not true. I've done it unsolicited once or twice.

Yeah.

I generally don't do that. But for me it's not about age, it's more about experience. So for example, I've done social media for all these years. If you haven't done, I probably would give you advice.

Yeah. Okay

But I wouldn't use such terms as let me give you a piece of advice. No.

Okay.

So it's not about age for me. It's about, you know, experience. Even as I'm saying it, it feels like I'm justifying.

Okay. So Question three:Do you find yourself explaining things people already know in detail, at length with enthusiasm?

I do that. I do that. I actually did that to you a few times.

You have. Actually, ironically about the same topic.

I've also explained to you about the English language.

Yes.

You've done the same to me, you explained Chinese history to me.

Well. That's because you should know it. You are Chinese. Where did you go to school?

Well, I did not pay much attention to my history teacher. OK, anyhow.

So basically, we're beyond hope.

I think we might still save ourselves. How do we avoid becoming a full 老登.

Okay.

A few ideas from the internet wisdom collective.

Mhm.

Number one, lead with curiosity, not conclusion.

Okay. So instead of "here's what you should do" , think "what do you think, I'm interested".

Yeah.

What would you suggest?

It's very difficult to ask that to someone who I presume has nothing interesting to say.

Come on, come on. We're going to be saving ourselves.

Okay. Number two, check your audience. Is your advice wanted, needed or unsolicited?

Okay. And thirdly, embrace the "I don't know".

Yeah. So difficult to say. I don't know, I have no idea.

Yeah.

Especially as you get older.

Exactly. So ultimately, I would say it's about learning to take a joke. If someone calls you 老登, don't double down. Self awareness is what's going to save you.

Well, you probably just own up to it. Said, yeah I'm 老登, I'm here, I'm proud of it.

And let me tell you all about it.

Yeah. All right. And on that note, let's wrap up this episode. I'm sure you have a lot to say about 老登, about the whole idea of 登味儿. Remember it's more about an attitude. It's not really just specifically about a gender.

No.

So, leave us a comment in the comment section about what you think. And do you think you are slowly becoming a 老登 or 中登?

Yeah.

Yeah. And put in your request for what other topics you want us to talk about?

So until next time

We'll see you next time.

Bye.

Bye.

排版长图：Jer.ry

文稿校对：梅薇薇 & Jenny

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