Good morning.
Thank you, Dean Johnson, for those kind words.
And thank you, Northwestern class of 2025, for inviting me here today.
It is an honor, a privilege, and an enormous pain in the ass.
This morning in the car on the way here as I was preparing to write this speech, I considered various topics.
Things like finding the courage to be yourself, or how to leave the world a better place, and who the hell is Big X the plug and where does he get off dropping out of Dillo Day?
But does it really matter what I talk about this morning?
Because as we all know, most commencement addresses are soon forgotten.
As Abraham Lincoln said in his Gettysburg Address, "You will little note nor long remember what I say here." And yes, Lincoln was right.
No one remembers the Gettysburg Address.
