There's a peculiar and paradoxical way in which we can't really tell who our partner is until and unless our relationship with them comes to an end.
Of course, we can know many things about them: how charming they can be, or how witty and entertaining, what accomplished friends or parents they make.
But we aren't, for that matter, ever being shown the truly complete picture for one fundamental reason: they still have a lot to lose.
After all, they're our wife or husband, they're our long-term partner, they're meant to be with us until death, and therefore, they have a reputation to defend.
They're reliant on our ongoing goodwill.
They have an incentive to maintain a front.
However, once it's evident that things really will come to a close, that the lawyers are being called in the morning, that the removal van is outside, then the bets are off.
There's no more good name to defend.
The future has vanished.
They're going to become strangers again.
