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Hi, everyone and welcome back to Happy Hour. 欢迎回来酒馆. Hi, 安澜.

Hi, Lulu, hi, everyone. I have to say Lulu that today you're looking absolutely brilliant.

Thank you.

I mean honestly, you look so beautiful at the moment. I don't know what it is. It's just I can't keep my eyes off of you.

Are you trying to hit on me?

You’re way too clever for me to hit on you in such a direct way.

Are you compliment... hang on a minute, we did compliments. This is not compliment. Alright. Are you just blatantly trying to suck up to your boss?

I knew you were that clever to be able to recognize what I was doing.

Okay, stop that, that is becoming a bit annoying.

Okay.

I guess we are talking about sucking up.

Yes, so we're talking about how to suck up in English.

Thank you. I thought you meant those things.

No, you didn't.

Sucking up在英文里就是拍马屁, 我们之前说过一个complement就是怎么样给人真诚的赞扬.

Last time when we were talking about complements, we actually specifically said you need to sound sincere. You need to be natural, don’t overdo it. But today we’re over doing it because this is not compliments this is sucking up.

Yeah, so what does it actually mean, first of all, to suck up to someone means try too hard to please someone, especially someone in authority so that you can get advantage or get some favor from them.

就是拍马屁.

Yeah.

There are so many words in English that can mean the same.  I've heard a very advanced word. What was it, Sycophant.

Sycophant. A sycophant is somebody who sucks up really. It's just... someone who just always says nice things, a yesman.

Yeah, but it's like a $3 word(用来形容一个比较复杂、高级或者不那么常见的词汇。暗示这个词可能听起来比较“昂贵”（即不那么普通），因为它可能需要更多的知识或教育背景才能理解或使用). It’s a difficult word.

First of all, why sucking up, isn't suck like 吸?

Yeah!

吮吸, why suck up then.

To be honest, I don't know, I don’t know why we say “suck up” in English.

It sounds weirdly graphic.

Yeah, I don't know, to be honest, I don't know why we say suck up.

But in any culture. You have people, a group of people or people in certain situations they really like sucking up, or they have to suck up.

Exactly.

To their bosses, to their supervisors.

Yep. That's the thing, in some cultures, it's more accepted, so kind of very very exaggerated praise is okay. In other cultures it's frowned upon, it’s seen as something insincere, dishonest.

And also in some culture, it's not just seen as insincere, in some culture over the top sucking up could be interpreted as sarcasm.

Yeah! Exactly!

If I say 安澜, you are so great. You probably think that I'm making fun of you.

Probably, yeah! But that's also because I know you.

Thank you.

So aside from suck up, you can also say to flatter someone, kiss up to someone as well.

Well, more on that later, we're going to really go into the language, the phrases people use.

Obviously, we're not gonna teach you how to suck up, because I'm pretty sure if you're in that situation, you would know what to say. We're gonna discuss the whole action, the whole behavior of sucking up.

First of all, would you say it is accepted in British culture?

No, it’s not.

Not really, it's probably seen as sarcasm.

It's seen as sarcasm. It's seen as incredibly insincere. British people generally wouldn't do it. I'm not saying like there aren't people in Britain that do suck up. What I'm saying is that in our culture it's just basically seen as a negative.

Well, in Chinese, I would say we're probably more accepting of it, but it really depends on the audience.

It depends on the person who's hearing it, like if I see myself as a leader, I don't like any sucking up.

No.

As an influence, as a leader... I just don't like sucking up and I also don't suck up to people. I'll be polite. I'll be respectful. I will give compliments, but I will not blatantly be sucking up to anyone.

No, I can't really do it to be honest. I find it too cringeworthy.

Cringe很尬是吧? 就是尬到脚趾抽地那种.

But why do people do it? Obviously, when you're in a position and someone is above you and you want to get a promotion, maybe a better grade from your teacher. And if your boss and your teacher is that type that they really likes hearing these kind of suck up words,  you might do it.

Yeah. It's a way of kind of wanting to be light or included. So sometimes it's not just you wanna get something like money or get promotion or better grade, some people they do it because they just wanna be light and wanna be included.

Oh, it’s one of those posse, like following this popular kid around and trying to suck up, to be in the popular circle. 就那种什么, 比如说一个在学生时代, 一个很受欢迎的人小跟班, 然后在旁边就是专门中文叫 “捧臭脚”, 你知道吗?

That I don't know.

You basically sort of, you basically hold their stinky feet, and think that's golden.

Okay, I like that.

In English with “sucking up” there are also a few very graphic expressions that we're gonna go into, in a bit. But I think sucking up can also be done in like a jokey way.

It can be.

For example, if I want my friend to do something and I’ll be like, “You're the greatest you're the prettiest, who's the prettiest.” you do that kind of sucking up.

But that's more like, oh please please, please do me this favor.

You're doing it as a joke, you're doing it to friends or family and they know it's a joke.

It was, “Oh! My mom is the greatest mom in the world!” that sort of thing.

But I do agree with you. There are huge cultural differences, in some cultures sucking up is seen almost as a given especially in certain circles with certain context, but in other cultures sucking up is at least frowned upon.  People don't like it. What would you do if someone sucks up to you?

Generally, I would lose respect for that person really. I would just say thank you and just basically ignore whatever they're asking for, because I just don't think... it's not in me, I don't like to suck up to someone.

I’ll be wary of this person.

I will be very very careful. For me, It's also the same for compliments. If I compliment someone, it's because I truly mean it.

If I feel like somebody is just saying nice things to me for an advantage, then I don't like that, because I feel like if I say something nice, I actually mean it, but you don't.

And also people who tend to say those blatant, very explicit words to suck up to you. They are also the ones who will say the nastiest things behind your back.

Yes.

They are very much two faced so I’ve realized.

Exactly.

So, let's look at some of the expressions.

First of all, the core expression is “to suck up to someone”, to kiss up to someone.

That's more American English. But you can say also in British English as well. So, for example, stop kissing up to the teacher.

You know they say “kiss ass”.

Yeah, “kiss ass” as well.

In Chinese we also say things like 热脸贴冷屁股, but this is a bit different.  The English expression “kiss ass” is literally saying that you are sucking up  so much that you're willing to kiss their bottom.

Yes.

Another expression is “to butter someone up”.

Yeah!

Butter like the butter we eat?

Yeah, now the reason why we say “to butter someone up”, that actually comes from India.

Okay.

So, statues of gods were usually covered in butter.

Why?

As an offering.

给神像上面抹油, 抹黄油,

Well, no黄油,  not butter actually sort of like Indian butter, like ghee.

Oh酥油的那种感觉.

Yeah, to butter someone up literally means to say nice things to make them like you or help you.

It's almost like you worship them as a god or goddess.

Yeah, exactly. So for example, he tried to butter up the boss with compliments before asking for time off.

请假之前先拍下老板马屁.

I always thought the reason why they call it buttering someone up is because you make them look delicious.

No. It's actually from what we saw in Indian religion.

I see. So to butter someone up can also mean to suck up to someone. It's very important that you use it exactly as it is.

Yes.

“To suck up to someone” and “to butter someone up”.

Yes.

You perhaps can say when people are trying to suck up to you, you can say, “Stop buttering me up. I'm not gonna give you those days off.”

Pretty much.

Yeah. You hear me? You hear me? Stop buttering me up. You're not getting those days off.

Okay. I'll stop buttering you up. I'm quite happy to not say nice things to you.

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文稿校对：徐一鸣 & Jenny

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